We have an issue in our company right now where gay people are complaining that our forms are not "gay friendly" we have a wedding registry page where it says groom and bride but they want a different way of presenting it so that it would be acceptable by that demographic. Any good suggestions on how we handle this? (Hope no one gets offended, Its a legitimate question and were actually dealing with this right now)

Here is a screenshot of the form

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  • arrghhh...i hate yellow on web pages!!! make it stop!!
    – RPM1984
    Commented Nov 25, 2010 at 3:47
  • Fascinating question, though not really programming related. I'd probably have an option like 'Same sex marriage', which then changes the labels and marks the wedding appropriately (so any relevant considerations can be made later).
    – Noon Silk
    Commented Nov 25, 2010 at 3:51
  • 1
    +1 to close, this isn't really a programming question and the answer is really a matter of opinion. Surveying your users will yield a better answer than what people here will be able to give you.
    – Darko Z
    Commented Nov 25, 2010 at 4:20

4 Answers 4


There's no real standard or perfect way of doing it. Some options:

  • First spouse
  • Second spouse


  • Party A
  • Party B


  • Partner A
  • Partner B


  • Bride/Groom
  • Bride/Groom
  • Mmmm, this might seem to work. Great idea!
    – Raymund
    Commented Nov 25, 2010 at 3:58

Assuming that you can get consultation from the same people who are complaining, I think you'd be better off polling them for comment.

If I was going to make an arbitrary choice on how to do this, I suppose I'd add a same-sex checkbox which changd those labels to text boxes, and allow the applicants to decide their own labels. (instead of making any sort of "one size fits all" decision and filling in something 'alternative')

  • I'm in favor of the "First Spouse/Second Spouse" suggestion because "same sex" doesn't also take into account transgendered people. Not to mention that as an LGBT person myself, I wouldn't be impressed if I had to check a separate flag in a form or survey, making me feel like I'm not being treated as equally as other clients. In all my websites I've never forced users to disclose gender. Commented Nov 25, 2010 at 22:28

Have Bride/Groom in a drop down in front of the 2 input fields for first & last name. Have the form default to the hetero configuration (i.e. one line has bride preselected and one line has groom preselected) so the majority of users (no slight on homosexual couples, it's just statistics) don't have to change the form

EDIT: Similiar to @Narveson's answer, but with bride/groom drop downs in front of the name inputs instead of "name of spouse"

EDIT EDIT: I guess its not even relevant whether a person is a bride or a groom for the purpose of the form, I don't imagine you do anything meaningful with the gender information?

  • It might not be relevant for the form, but it is for the app. When somebody wants to come in and look for the wedding where the groom's name is Smith, knowing that it's the groom eliminates half the possible matches. And then after the wedding you know that the bride is much more likely to have the groom's last name than vice-versa.
    – Gabe
    Commented Nov 25, 2010 at 5:29
  • As @Lotus Notes points out, my solution doesn't help with trans users who don't identify as a bride or a groom. Rather than speak for the LGBT community myself, I would say the best bet would be some direct consultation with them.
    – micmcg
    Commented Feb 10, 2011 at 1:08

Put the first and last name boxes on the same line. I would tell you to do this even if you were keeping the bride and groom terminology.

      Name of spouse: (first) [      ] (last) [     ]
Name of other spouse: (first) [      ] (last) [     ]

Even better, just use a single text box for each party's name. Who says everybody has a first name and a last name anyway? Adam and Eve didn't.

  • Since he will almost certainly want to enable people to search by groom's last name or bride's last name, he will need to know the last names separate from the first names. He will also probably want to have bride/groom labels.
    – Gabe
    Commented Nov 25, 2010 at 5:33
  • "Adam and Eve didn't" -> yeah but they're fictional characters. I'm pretty sure everyone in modern civilisation has a first name and surname. If you need to keep first/last name separately for searching purposes, You're Doing It Wrong. Commented Nov 27, 2010 at 17:01
  • @DisgruntledGoat. You think wrong. Plenty of people don't have a first name & a surname.
    – TRiG
    Commented Aug 9, 2015 at 18:57

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