Don't forget the concept of domain aging either. If you slap up a new site on a brand new Domain name, expect Google and the others to de-emphasize it for a time period of at least several months. This doesn't explain flat out omission as you're seeing, but it does explain why it's incredibly uncommon to see a site shoot directly to the top of the search rankings.
I've had sites that I put a ton of time into not make google for several weeks or even a month....and I tried every (ethical) trick in the book. Eventually, they get picked up and because of all the extra work I did, they moved right up the page in a hurry. I personally subscribe to the idea that SEO is not rocket science, and the only people who REALLY know exactly what will move you up is Google....and they're not telling. Google will put you on when Google wants to, provided you make every effort to make their life easier. Bing in my experience has been faster...go figure.
My most successful clients actually get more traffic from social media. If you really need traffic, try promoting yourself consistently everywhere you can (but don't carpet bomb forums, because that's annoying!)
While you're waiting for it to get indexed. Do a W3 check...take a few days to do extensive testing....add a cool new feature you've not gotten around to writing yet....analyze and add to your (google discoverable) content.....buy your significant other dinner...walk the dog. Good Luck!