We're in development of a website and we're looking into other options than just developing a chat engine ourselves.
We've looked at CometChat and ArrowChat. Which look and seem to be great except that it uses PHP/MySQL. They offer to host your chat server which can handle 100,000+ but honestly we'd like to be hosting it on our own servers and handle way more than that.
Know of any alternatives? We're looking for that Meebo/Facebook/CometChat/ArrowChat look and style but it needs to be fully customizable.